there is hope for me yet...

The days seems to get harder and harder for me to keep getting up, going to school, and trying to teach high school kids Spanish. The novelty has worn off. The kids are obnoxious and most of them don't really want to learn Spanish, they're just taking it because it's the "easiest" class. Those things are only part of why it's getting hard. My passions are different.
Yes, I am passionate about Spanish and I love speaking it.
Yes, I am passionate about teaching.
But these passions I have don't quite fit in this context, which is probably exactly why God has me here, so I can learn to rely on Him more... and really, I don't know if they'll ever quite fit just so that I can rely on Him. HOWEVER, there is a bigger passion that I have that I long to be pursuing WITH the other passions all in one, all together. That passion is Jesus.
Where I am right now is so hard for me because I absolutely long to be serving the Lord, teaching others about Him, and serving Him with my gift of Spanish.
I know that He is using my gifts and talents to glorify Himself in this place and to teach me and to prepare me for other things He has in store for me.... but it's so hard to not really be able to talk about God in my workplace (I can only talk about it if people ask me)
It's so hard to be in this place.
But there's a scripture that comes to mind and gives me HOPE.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." --Colossians 3:23-24

there is hope for me yet, because God won't forget all the plans He's made for me, i have to wait and see, He's not finished with me yet
still wonderin' why i'm here, still wrestling with my fear, but oh, He's up to something...