closer everyday...

Break-throughs, break-throughs, break-throughs. My life is full of them right now. All over the place.

Breakthrough #1:
I don't know if it's just that kids are feeling more comfortable with me or what... but I have students asking me for help, letting me know when their confused, and asking if they can stay after school for help. Even one of my hardest kids who used to shut down when he didn't understand is asking me to help him.

Breakthrough #2:
I'm actually getting opportunities to talk about my faith with my family. It's not much, but... Garrett came to church with Ian and me a few weeks ago. Now he thinks church is cool... if he goes with us. Yesterday I was wearing one of my old bible study shirts that has, "We drink like fish" on the front of it and a verse on the back talking about the Water of Life and my step-dad asked me about it and what it meant- the phrase, not the verse- and I got to tell him, "Yea, the Water of Life! it's about Jesus, not alcohol." That might not seem like much, but it's HUGE.

Breakthrough #3:
This one can be interpreted a little more literal than the rest... the sun is starting to rise around the time I'm going to work again! So literally, the sun is breaking through. But... this is also a bigger deal for me spiritually because the sunrise is a huge way that I connected with God in the fall (see my last post for more) and with where I'm at in my student-teaching right now. The end is near and it's getting harder to want to be here and want to come and teach everyday... but there's only 5 more weeks till Spring Break... and then my responsibilities lessen... and I finish in the end of April. The end is getting so near. The sunrise is HOPE for me.

All of these break-throughs... bring me a little closer everyday.
A little closer to the end.
A little closer to new beginnings.
A little closer to salvation for my family.
A little closer....

hope

"there is hope for me yet...."

well, I was dreading coming back to school today. partly because I slept horribly last night, partly because I know my heart isn't in this. I wasn't sure... how I'm going to get through... how I'm going to make it.
I was rather optimistic on my drive to school this morning. "Only six more weeks..." till my next break, till my responsibilities here will be lessening. It wasn't until I started getting closer to school that I could see it.
I turned going east and saw the sky lightening along the horizon. My heart jumped.
The sun is starting to rise earlier now. Soon, I'm going to get to see the sunrise on my way to school. If any one has been reading this since the fall, you'd know that seeing the sunrise on my way to work was one of my favorite things, one of the ways I experienced God.

After a long winter, those days are coming again.
Hope.

It gives me hope. And it could not have come at a better time...
The end is near. Two months is all I've got. And it's more than enough for the Lord to move in big ways.

He is

In Exodus, God meets up with Moses for the first time and speaks to him through the burning bush. They begin to have this intense discussion as God tells Moses of His plans for him- that Moses is to go back to Egypt and lead His people out of their slavery there. Moses is so humbled at this and he says to God, "But who am I that I should lead Your people? And how will Your people know that it really is the God of their fathers who sent me? Who shall I tell them sent me?"

And God responds to this with, "I am who I am. Tell the Isrealites that I AM sent you."

I AM. Yah.

Lord of empty space
You breathe and then create
Before the earth was made
You are...

That's all that mattered, God saying, "I AM" and the Isrealites knew. And they had faith.

The King of every age
Outside of time and space
The heavens speak Your name
You are...

That should be enough for me, too, right?

The one who calms the seas
And every part of me
With just a word you speak
You are...

Being in complete awe of who You are...

Angels bowing down
Beneath the rushing sound
A voice that thunders out
You are...

In such complete awe of You that everyone knows...

The one who holds the stars
And the beating of my heart
Exalted above all
You are...

Being in awe of I AM, so my cry becomes You are! and all those who see know... He is.

so I give you all of me, for all You are, here I am, take me apart...